I watched that Nicole Arbour “Dear Fat People” thing last night. I was appalled. I know there have been hundreds of posts and responses and stuff out there telling this woman that she’s going to hell and all that fun stuff. I have to be honest, my initial response was to lash out cause what she said hurt. But this is not that. It IS a response, but not one in anger anymore. I’m over her. I will NOT give her the outraged response she was looking for. Instead, I will respond the way my Momma and my Grandma Mac taught me to respond when someone was mean to me. I will be real.
I have weight to lose. No one is kidding themselves saying I don’t. I have a LOT of weight to lose. But its happening. Slowly, granted, but according to the doctor, that’s how it’s supposed to go. I was on fertility drugs for years, and had the stress of a kid with cancer and a stressful job and lots of excuses. But the long and short of it is that I gained the weight, it’s my responsibility. And it is my responsibility to set a good example for my kids. Especially Sophie because she doesn’t have the luxury of being overweight for a period of time. Fatty liver disease will kill what is left of her little liver. So I have to get healthy now, and I am. Slowly. It’s happening.
As for my response to the Nicole Arbour thing: For all of you out there that have a few pounds, or even a lot of pounds to lose, don’t listen to her. You are important and valuable and beautiful and the size of your pants or shirt that you wear has absolutely no bearing on your value or beauty. Absolutely none. Nadda. Zilch.
I know I come off as brash and angry, all brass balls and stuff half the time. But generally I’m a kindhearted, loving person that will do things to HELP those around me. Odds are darn good you are too. Odds are that you have some incredible quality about you that is invaluable and those around you value you more than they tell you. So I’m going to tell you for them.
We all have our strengths and weaknesses. I can’t sing to save a life. I used to play piano pretty well and I’m trying to get back there. At 35 I’m brave enough to pick up the guitar and start to learn that with my daughter. I can write really well… that’s probably my main skill. But yeah, I’m fat. I have integrity, and I’m kind to people that need it and strong and powerful and I hope I am what my mother wanted me to be when I was growing up. And THAT makes me beautiful, regardless of the fat.
I have no doubt that you have some strength that no one around you has. I have no doubt that you are incredibly important and wanted by the people around you. You do something that no one around you can do as well and that’s GREAT! I bet you can sing. You can paint like Van Gogh or Picasso (please don’t put the boobs on the face, though… I will NEVER understand that). You’re incredible with makeup (God bless you, I can barely keep from stabbing an eye out with eyeliner). I bet you are incredible at math or you are the best mom on the PTA and your kids think the sun and moon rise in your eyes. You are kind and have moments of gentleness and moments of power. And THAT is your true value. THAT is your true worth. What you have provided to this world…. not the size of your butt. So yeah… you might have some weight to lose, but please don’t let that color how you see yourself.
My hope is that you can look at the screen when you see that Nicole Arbour chick and yell the same thing I do at her. “Yeah, I’m fat, but I’m kind and funny and smart and I can LOSE WEIGHT. I HAVE that capacity. You, Nicole Arbor, are NOT kind or funny, and apparently not too bright because you put that thing out therein public not expecting this backlash. You can’t LEARN those traits. You either have them or you don’t, and you apparently don’t have them. So think about that the next time you feel like you have the right to try to “fix” someone by saying hurtful words.”
Then go get yourself some ice cream with sprinkles (cause sprinkles are for winners, sport). You earned it. Then get back on the “better yourself wagon.” And for those of you that think I mean get on the work out and diet wagon, NO. You better yourself by making sure that you are a good and kind person. You don’t judge people because you realize that you are imperfect (that whole throwing rocks in glass houses thing…). You try to love the people around you because they need it, not because they are perfect, regardless of whether you agree with them, their life choices, or what color stockings they wore this morning. THAT is the “bettering yourself wagon.” If you happen to do something to make your body healthier, more power to you. You go girl (or boy… or whatever you identify as… who am I to judge?)