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My kids’ true natures.

I spend a lot of time watching people and writing.  Mostly cause I have no real social skills.  And I started to notice something about my two oldest.  It all sort of just came out when I was talking to an intern today at work.  Poor guy.  After the talk we had, he may never have kids of his own.  So I came home and repeated my observations to my husband to see if he thought it was okay that I destroyed the intern’s hope for children, and to see if I was right.  Guess what??  I’m not insane! This is how it went down:

Me (to the husband): “I figured out our oldest kids.”
Dan: “What?”
Me: “Sophie is the cat. All
“Don’t touch me.”
“Love me.”
“Give me space!”
“Worship me.”
“I don’t want to be bothered.”
“Pay attention to ME!”
“I’m not hungry; leave me alone.”
“Let me eat all of your food.”
“Don’t bother me!”
“MOOOOOMMMM!!!! WATCH ME! I’M IMPORTANT!”

 

Dan: ~grin~
Me: “Archer is our Labrador puppy. All
“ERMAHGERD!! FOOD!”
“I LOVE YOU!”
“LOOK AT ME!”
~crash, break something~
“MOOOMMMM!!! THE TABLE ATTACKED ME!” (Horrified wailing)
~looking guilty~
“I didn’t mean to break that thing.”
“The baby pulled my hair!”
“LOVE ON ME!”
“FREE SNUGGLES!”
“I’m going to be a good boy and do what I’m told so long as I’m being told to go get my blankie.”
“OMG LOOK IT!!! POOP!! Let me smear that stuff everywhere!”

 

Dan: “Holy crap, we have a pissy cat and a lab puppy for kids.”
Me: “I know, right?”

Vivi, at 10 months old, is sweet and small and snuggles.  I’d classify her as a lazy kitten, but she doesn’t have that horrible evil that all kittens have.  So for right now, she’s nondescript.  I will keep you all updated once she comes out of her little baby shell.

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