Chemo mom · Childhood Cancer · children · Histiocytosis · Homeschooling · liver disease · Motherhood · Parenting · pediatric cancer · Uncategorized

Hard Decisions and Trying to Emulate Normalcy

We had an “incident” at our daughter’s after school a couple of weeks ago.  Three boys surrounded her while she was coloring with chalk on the ground, circled her while saying “we’re circling you, you can’t get up, neener neener neener” (kids really are idiots… seriously… wtf?).  Her response was to throw a piece of… Continue reading Hard Decisions and Trying to Emulate Normalcy

Cancer · Chemo Dad · Chemo mom · Childhood Cancer · children · Mother's Day · Motherhood · Parenting · pediatric cancer · Uncategorized

Happy *Warrior* Mother’s Day

Today is Mother’s Day.  I would like to wish ALL The moms out there a wonderful HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!   Being a mom is not easy and seems to only get harder as time goes on, so keep up the good fight. I just wanted to remind everyone of a group of moms you might not… Continue reading Happy *Warrior* Mother’s Day

Cancer · Childhood Cancer · children · Histiocytosis · liver disease · Parenting · pediatric cancer · PTSD · Uncategorized

Feeling Squishy

3:30 a.m. Tuesday morning. I have Sophie tucked into her booster seat behind me.  Butterfly pillow between her head and her brother’s car seat as she leans into it.   Sugar-skull covered fluffy blanket over her.  She’s still in her Lego movie pajamas and falls right back to sleep once I get the truck moving. I… Continue reading Feeling Squishy

Cancer · Childhood Cancer · Histiocytosis · liver disease · pediatric cancer · PTSD · Uncategorized

The Nature of a Panic Attack (**language warning)

I like writing.  It calms me.  So I thought that maybe I could stop a panic attack if I just wrote during it.  Maybe just getting my thoughts out of my head.  So, I wrote this as a stream of thoughts I had while actively having a panic attack.  I planned ahead, considering I have… Continue reading The Nature of a Panic Attack (**language warning)

Cancer · Chemo Dad · Chemo mom · Childhood Cancer · children · Histiocytosis · liver disease · Motherhood · pediatric cancer · PTSD · support groups · Uncategorized

The Steps of Grief with Each Doctor Visit

When you have a child with a chronic illness, you have to go through the steps of grief emotionally to handle the disease.  But once you go through those and get through the initial emergency period,  you can get complacent during long stretches of generally good health where the “chronic” doesn’t rear its ugly head.  … Continue reading The Steps of Grief with Each Doctor Visit

Cancer · Chemo mom · Childhood Cancer · Histiocytosis · pediatric cancer · PTSD · Survivor · Uncategorized

Please don’t think me weak.

I find myself thinking those words more often than not in the last few weeks. I’ve always been the bad@$$ in the herd.  The black sheep with the bandana, playing the metal music and not bending to the judgement of others. I didn’t cry for anything, ever.  I didn’t cry when I moved away from… Continue reading Please don’t think me weak.

Cancer · Chemo Dad · Chemo mom · Childhood Cancer · Family · Histiocytosis · liver disease · Parenting · pediatric cancer · Pediatricians · Physician · Uncategorized

Tips for Pediatric Specialists: Coping with the Tempermental Relationship You Have with Parents

You are a Pediatric Specialist.  You work in an office attached to a hospital, and you are an expert in your field.  You do amazing things.  You know the liver, heart, lungs, bone marrow, and tiny tiny cancer cells better than anyone and you know how good you are. Us parents aren’t trying to discount… Continue reading Tips for Pediatric Specialists: Coping with the Tempermental Relationship You Have with Parents