Chemo mom · children · Daughters · Motherhood · pediatric cancer · PTSD · Uncategorized

Flashbacks are a THING.

For those who don’t know, something like 20-30% of parents with children that suffer from chronic illnesses or severe diseases suffer with PTSD.   PTSD can surface in many different ways, including unexplained frustration, anger, sadness, anxiety, deep depression, issues with going into public, problems with noise, weight gain or loss, and flashbacks.   And… Continue reading Flashbacks are a THING.

Cancer · Childhood Cancer · children · Histiocytosis · liver disease · Parenting · pediatric cancer · PTSD · Uncategorized

Feeling Squishy

3:30 a.m. Tuesday morning. I have Sophie tucked into her booster seat behind me.  Butterfly pillow between her head and her brother’s car seat as she leans into it.   Sugar-skull covered fluffy blanket over her.  She’s still in her Lego movie pajamas and falls right back to sleep once I get the truck moving. I… Continue reading Feeling Squishy

Cancer · Childhood Cancer · Histiocytosis · liver disease · pediatric cancer · PTSD · Uncategorized

The Nature of a Panic Attack (**language warning)

I like writing.  It calms me.  So I thought that maybe I could stop a panic attack if I just wrote during it.  Maybe just getting my thoughts out of my head.  So, I wrote this as a stream of thoughts I had while actively having a panic attack.  I planned ahead, considering I have… Continue reading The Nature of a Panic Attack (**language warning)

Cancer · Chemo Dad · Chemo mom · Childhood Cancer · children · Histiocytosis · liver disease · Motherhood · pediatric cancer · PTSD · support groups · Uncategorized

The Steps of Grief with Each Doctor Visit

When you have a child with a chronic illness, you have to go through the steps of grief emotionally to handle the disease.  But once you go through those and get through the initial emergency period,  you can get complacent during long stretches of generally good health where the “chronic” doesn’t rear its ugly head.  … Continue reading The Steps of Grief with Each Doctor Visit

Cancer · Chemo mom · Childhood Cancer · Histiocytosis · pediatric cancer · PTSD · Survivor · Uncategorized

Please don’t think me weak.

I find myself thinking those words more often than not in the last few weeks. I’ve always been the bad@$$ in the herd.  The black sheep with the bandana, playing the metal music and not bending to the judgement of others. I didn’t cry for anything, ever.  I didn’t cry when I moved away from… Continue reading Please don’t think me weak.

Cancer · Chemo mom · Childhood Cancer · Family · liver disease · Motherhood · Parenting · pediatric cancer · PTSD · Uncategorized

The Eggshell Child

When I was in law school, I remember being in torts class and learning about “the eggshell plaintiff.”  A plaintiff is a person who sues another person in court for injuries.  The Eggshell plaintiff is the person who is injured by something you did, but their injuries are far worse than they would be in… Continue reading The Eggshell Child

Chemo mom · Childhood Cancer · children · Comedy · Family · Histiocytosis · Parenting · pediatric cancer · PTSD · Uncategorized

Put the Panic Button Down! Back Away from the Panic Button!

When you have a child you think “I’m going to be cool about this.”  “I’m going to not panic over a hangnail.”  “I’m going to understand how to treat a simple cold and get over it and move on.” Total joke. That whole adage about now you freak out over everything for the first child… Continue reading Put the Panic Button Down! Back Away from the Panic Button!